I'm not very good at being all sentimental, but a good laugh is as good as it gets:
"I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to."
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after."
"As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied."