Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Songs Renamed for Boomers

I cannot take credit for this post.  It's from an email forward, but I can't track down the author:

Some of the artists of the 60's and 70's are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers who can remember doing the "Limbo" as if it were yesterday.

Bobby Darin --- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' A Flash

Herman's Hermits --- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker

Ringo Starr --- I Get By With A Little Help From Depends

The Bee Gees --- How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?

Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face

Johnny Nash ---  I Can't See Clearly Now

Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways To Lose Your Liver

The Commodores --- Once, Twice, Three Times To The Bathroom

Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade Of Hair

Leo Sayer --- You Make Me Feel Like Napping

The Temptations --- Papa's Got A Kidney Stone

Abba--- Denture Queen

Tony Orlando --- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall

Helen Reddy --- I Am Woman; Hear Me Snore

Leslie Gore---It's My Procedure, and I'll Cry If I Want To

Willie Nelson ---On the Commode Again

Sounds like this was made up by some smartass ad men.  I'm afraid they'll actually use the Denture Queen song.  Abba is "made" for commercials.  Now, all I want to do is come up with some renamed titles of my own.

Dave Clark Five: (And I'm Feelin') Bad All Over

James Brown: Papa's Got a Brand New Knee

Sam and Dave: (I'm a) Ole Man

Shirelles:  Will You Still Know Me Tomorrow

Wilson Pickett: Facelift Sally

Sly and the Family Stone: Hot Flash in the Summertime

Moody Blues: Nights in White Statin

Lovin' Spoonful: Do You Believe in Prozac?

Angels: My Boyfriend's Back (It Is Giving Him Some Trouble)

John Lennon: Instant Heartburn's (Gonna Get You)

Elton John: Crocodile Rocker

Marvin Gaye: I Heard it Through My Doctor

Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Zen of Photoshop

It's been a dreadful week. My neighbor's husband died. A friend with an incurable disease took his own life.  My daughter is sick and in a different state, so there's not much I can do to help her.  And, when things are really awful, I like to sit in my room and play with color.  Sometimes, there are only three things that make me feel better: child number one, child number two, and photoshop.  I hope that all of you have someone or something that cheers you up when you really need it.